The SANE Blog

A bouquet of encouragement for mental health carers this Mother’s Day

This Mother's Day, we’d like to recognise all the women who play a caring role in our lives. Caring for someone with complex mental health needs can be overwhelming and sometimes quite lonely, but there are some simple actions you can take to keep yourself and your loved ones positive, connected and confident that you’re heading in the right direction.

In this blog, SANE community member Sonya shares a list of the things that helped her when her daughter was first diagnosed with schizophrenia at 20 years of age.

You’re still in shock and disorientated, so it’s understandable everything feels impossibly hard for you right now. And the fear and helplessness you feel are understandable too. What loving mother wouldn’t feel this way? But you must remind yourself that you are free to choose what you hold in your mind. That you can choose to believe that it won’t always be this way. And that there are steps you can take to help yourself feel less helpless. You love lists.

Let’s list the steps you can take.

1. You can talk to your GP about everything that’s happened and the feelings that you’re struggling with.
2. You can use the internet to learn about E’s mental health condition and the services and supports available to you and her. Start with SANE (where you found the 1800 helpline) and take a closer look at the fact sheets and recovery stories.
3. You can set up daily routines and limits for keeping yourself ready, able, and strong. Like exercise and not drinking coffee after 2pm.
4. You can remember what you read about stress and calm both being contagious. And you can aim to always be the calmest person in the room.
5. You can use reflective listening and empathising to head off conflict with E and stay connected to her.
6. When challenging times come around, you can tell yourself you’ve got through challenging times before and you’ll get through challenging times again.
7. When negative thoughts take hold, you can shift you attention to an activity that requires deep focus or engages your senses. Dancing to your favourite pop songs always works. So does going for a long brisk walk in the cool night air.
8. You can join a support group. If you can’t find one that suits your needs, you can team up with another carer and create one that does.
9. You can acknowledge what you’re grateful for. (Make a list and keep it handy. Put E at the top of the list).
10. When stigma and discrimination show up in your interactions with others, you can call it out. You can explain why its hurtful, harmful, and atrocious. (Don’t be afraid to use the word “atrocious.” It’s exactly the right word).
11. You can report misleading news coverage of people with complex mental health conditions to SANE’s Stigma Watch Program.
12. You can choose not to be hurt by family members and close friends who find it hard to know how to support you. It doesn’t mean they don’t care.
13. You can seize the opportunity to share a laugh with E. To see the funny side, together.
14. You can value small steps. Yours and E’s. Just like you value small green shoots in the garden.
15. You can believe with all your heart that you can still live fully. That purpose and meaning and even strength and fulfillment can be found in your new circumstances. Choose to believe this and maybe E will one day choose to believe it too.

Connect with other carers who get what you’re going through in our dedicated family, friends and carers space on the SANE Forums. It’s a safe, anonymous community where you can seek advice, share experiences and insights and learn what’s helped others. Click here to join the community – it’s free and open 24/7.

You’ll also find practical tips, guides and tools for family, friends and carers on our website here.

International Women's Day is celebrated on 8 March, highlighting the achievements and hurdles faced by women across the globe. A critical aspect of any challenges is mental health, influenced by the distinct biological, social, and emotional shifts that women navigate through various stages of life. This post delves into these stages, the mental health issues they may entail, signs to watch for, and strategies and resources for support and management.

The festive season is often portrayed as a time of joy, togetherness, and merriment. It's a time when families come together to celebrate, share traditions, and create cherished memories. 

However, for individuals impacted by complex mental health issues and their caregivers, the season can bring a unique set of challenges. These are discussed, with strategies on how to manage them.

Therese is a passionate social work student and hiker who has worked in early education for over 20 years. She grew up with a father who had schizophrenia. Last week Therese spoke with SANE about her experience of living with someone with a complex mental illness, how things have evolved over time, and how talking about everything has helped.

Marg was there when her son Mark had his first episode of psychosis five years ago, and has been part of his support network ever since. Mark’s road to recovery has meant building a new life for himself, and supporting others impacted by mental health issues.  

In celebration of Mother’s Day, here Marg and Mark share things they’ve learnt along the way, the importance of empathy and the need to support carers in their journeys too. 

Burnout and compassion fatigue are terms carers regularly hear when caring for someone with a mental illness.

There is no doubt that caring for someone can be a demanding, stressful and exhausting role. It's also common to be told to look after yourself and prevent burnout. But, at times it can be difficult to know when we are feeling normal pressures or when it’s something more.

Twice a month, SANE runs Topic Tuesday events on our forums. These are a chance for people around the country to come together in real time to discuss issues involving complex mental illness. Previous topics have covered everything from the side effects of medication to creating a safety plan, from supporting someone through panic attacks to sex and intimacy with a complex mental illness.

Topic Tuesday discussions are anonymous, safe, moderated by mental health professionals and free for users to take part.

The forum holds a space for a Lived Experience community and another for the Carers community and a monthly event is held in each side. In January we hosted “Supporting your loved one through a panic attack” in the Carers forum but with participation from people in both groups.

It was extremely informative to hear about panic attacks from both those having them and those observing them. Here’s a selection of perfectives from the event.

Many said the first time came as a shock:

Topic Tuesday is a regular event on the SANE Forums where we host live discussions of specific mental health issues. Recently Belle from Parentline joined us to give advice for parents with mental health challenges. Here's some of her tips.

The life of a parent can be a busy and demanding one! You could be juggling so many potential stressors all at once, including work, family commitments, finances, and keeping up with your child’s school and social routines.

For those parents managing mental health challenges, you are managing not only your responsibilities as a parent, but your own mental health, and the complex and confronting emotions that can come with this delicate balance. No easy feat.

This being said, there are things you can do for yourself that can make parenting with a mental illness easier.

Be kind to yourself and mindful of self-expectations

Stigma is defined as a mark of disgrace that sets a person apart from others. It can occur due to misunderstanding as well as prejudice. For people living with mental illness, stigma can lead to a lack of support or compassion, leaving them feeling misunderstood and marginalised.   Stigma is sadly prevalent in the workplace. Many workers are r...

When it comes to mental health, we all tend to diagnose people from a distance from time to time. It doesn't necessarily come from a bad place. Sometimes it comes from a place of curiosity, empathy, or thinking you can help another human being out by sharing what you've observed about their behaviour. After all, it can be hard to speak up about men...