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Identifying your supports
Identifying your
supports
Self-care becomes even more important after someone you care about attempts suicide again.
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Self-care for carers
- Accepting the ups and downs of hope, hopelessness and hope again can enhance your wellbeing. Feelings pass, and your hope will return.
- The stress of caring for someone in this situation is real and it’s okay to talk about it. Find people who allow you to discuss your thoughts and feelings honestly and without judgement. Connect with people who have had the same experience. Go with the supports that work for you, whether that is a peer support group or services in your local community, or online services like SANE’s Carers Forum and Help Centre.
- Take time out for yourself. Whether you prefer exercise, reading a book or mindfulness exercises, it is important to give yourself a break.
- You can keep healthy by exercising regularly (for example, going for a 30 minute walk each day), eating a nutritious diet, and sleeping well (aim for 7–9 hours a night).
- Make and keep time to take care of your own needs — for example, getting to your GP for regular check-ups, meeting with friends and attending carer groups or network meetings.
- Be clear about where your boundaries are and how much support you are able to give the person you care about. Make sure the level of support you provide doesn’t impact on your own mental health.
‘I had support from three other friends and colleagues in this situation, which made it easier to deal with.’
For more information on why people attempt suicide, see our factsheet on suicidal behaviour.
For tips on starting difficult conversations with someone you care about after a suicide attempt, see Conversation starters.
Talking with the person you care about
Talking with the
person you care
about
Here are some suggestions for having difficult conversations with someone who has attempted suicide more than once:
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Talking points after repeated attempts
- Reassure the person that you love and care for them, and don’t want them to die.
- Ask what caused them to attempt suicide again.
- Have open, honest discussions with them. Tell them if you had noticed anything that had made you worry, like changes in their behaviour or mood. Ask if there is anything you can learn from this.
- Discuss what actions or supports might have made a difference, and if there was anything that might have helped avoid their attempt.
- Ensure you and mental health professionals are involved in any discussions and decisions about support options for the person you care about.
- Health professionals may develop a safety plan with the person you care about. A safety plan is a short document that outlines the triggers that can cause someone to feel distressed and the actions they should take to stay safe, reduce their distress, and avoid harming themselves. Safety plans include a list of activities that may help distract the person from their difficult thoughts, and the contact details of support people. Ask if they would share it with you. If they don't have one, suggest creating one. Find out how to develop a safety plan at Beyond Now.