The SANE Blog

It's not only the mood swings, delusions and hallucinations that Sarah has had to fight in her 15 year battle with schizoaffective disorder, she's also had to tackle stigma, misunderstanding and negative reactions.

She discusses how she's learnt to live with the symptoms and the public perception.

Content warning: Self-harm and hospitalisation.

It's okay not to be okay . . . trust me, because I learnt this the hard way.

Carer . . . You may think this term implies solely supporting one person, but carers are also connected to a larger family dynamic. As such, carers often find themselves embroiled in complex situations.

We're frequently stomping out fires - in a state of perpetual conflict resolution - in order to keep the family stable and maintain a healthy equilibrium for all.

At its worst, binge eating disorder totally took over my life.

It caused me to experience uncontrollable food cravings. Eating became an unconscious thing; it wasn't a lack of willpower, it was like I was on autopilot. 

When I was binge eating, I would swear not to do it and the next minute I'd find myself stuffing food into my mouth. If someone had watched the process they would have seen me gulping down one thing after another.

My name is Julie. I'm a mum of a beautiful daughter and have been working in the mental health field for 21 years. Oh, and by the way, I've had obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) since I was five years old.

Throughout my life I have been learning ways to be a 'better me', better at managing myself and my health.

These ways are individual and special to me, but may also assist others.

'Schizophrenia, you have schizophrenia. Shit, schizophrenia, this sounds serious but what is it?' 

At 23 I was still naive, and even though I had been a university student I had not encountered schizophrenia in friends or relatives. I sat bewildered in the psychiatrist's office, perplexed not only by my inner psychotic confusion but wondering what was to become of me.

After our first son was born, I gradually lost all connection with reality. There was no history of mental illness in our family. This came completely out of the blue and hit our family like a tropical cyclone.

My most recent episode started in January this year, I almost didn't notice it at first. 

I started finding it harder to get out of bed, even after 14 hours' sleep, and felt anxious in social situations, meetings, anything that involved speaking up. It was the little things you're not quite conscious of.

Then, the little things started growing into more than little things.

Fred and Cathy live in regional Victoria. Cathy has borderline personality disorder, and is supported by her husband Fred.